do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
We had to coat check the pizza.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize