Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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