$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
