i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
