hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
