I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
