Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize