nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
No subtext here. People are naked.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
