I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
