she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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