the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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