You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
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