Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
