I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
