shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
