I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Did I show you my penis last night?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
