Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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