Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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