Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
