It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
NoShamevember. You game?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
