you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
