so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
