i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
