Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
