Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
