Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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