Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
being pregnant is like rehab
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Randomize
