So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
