spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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