do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
People in love make me want to vomit
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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