I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Randomize
