And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize