I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize