i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I think i got beer on your cat.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
