just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
