She is in my trunk
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
