and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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