i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
