Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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