The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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