and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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