Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
