Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Randomize
