I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
