I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Can I color on your dick again?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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