I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
