Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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