i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
