i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
