thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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