he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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