So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
