i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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