it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
