Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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