you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize