Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
try to milk me bitch
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
