I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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