Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
