My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize