there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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