When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
