I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
