yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
