So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
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