Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
