and she was petting her beer can
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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