so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
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